The average person swallows eight spiders a year. Most people swallow 0 spiders, but Robert Green of North Carolina eats like 40 spiders a day so heâ€™s been throwing the whole average off.
Yesterday I was looking for my sunglasses and opened a cupboard that was full of COVID masks.
Relics of an ancient time. It got me thinking, do you think in the year 2050 people are going to be saying, â€śLook, the CDC said that the nuclear holocaust is dying down. We can all stop wearing our gas masks now.â€ť I know they said that the irradiated air levels are going down, and that the risk of turning into a radioactive mole person is the lowest itâ€™s been since World War III started, but honestly, I didnâ€™t do my makeup today so Iâ€™d rather just keep the gas mask on.
Imagine a board meeting where everybody is arguing about how they actually get more stuff done when theyâ€™re working from their thermonuclear bunkers.
My cousin is in town and asked me to take her to a psychic. My family had a long history of both: people who patronize psychics and people who believe they are psychic. I always found that interesting because youâ€™d think if they were actually psychic theyâ€™d be able to tell that everyone in the room is thinking about having them committed.
I watch this show on TV called, â€śLove After Lockup,â€ť about couples who met while one of them was in prison and moved in together after their partner was released. There was a guy on the show doing 15 years for negligent homicide. His girlfriendâ€™s justification was that he didnâ€™t stab or shoot anybody, he just ignored somebody to death.
You can make the argument that Charles Manson didnâ€™t personally kill anybody, and thatâ€™s a decent argument if youâ€™re in a court of law. But that doesnâ€™t mean Charles is an eligible bachelor.
Long Distance Listening Party
This playlist is available on Spotify, search my username, Mileserickson-354, New songs will be added every two weeks.
No Waves, FIDLAR
I Say Fever, Ramona Falls
Pressed 2 Death, Illuminati Hotties
September Again, September Again
Nurse Ratched, Cherry Glazerr
No Waves, FIDLAR. I rediscovered this song in a playlist called Punks Not Dead, accompanied by a picture of Tom DeLonge looking like heâ€™s old enough to have stormed Normandy. Iâ€™ve never talked about FIDLAR before because even admitting you listen to them is something of a red flag. This is one of those bands that really defined my taste in music, and itâ€™s a hard pill to swallow when your favorite album from high school celebrates its ten-year anniversary. FIDLAR is sort of like Blink-182 for the 2010sâ€”angsty, kind of raw and extremely catchy. I imagine this is how Nirvana fans felt once the 2000s hit and they realized the revolution was over.
I Say Fever, Ramona Falls. I was somewhat surprised to see this album was released in 2009 as it feels far less contemporary. Taking clear inspiration from bands like Television and Echo and the Bunnymen, it seems out of place in the era of Usher and Katy Perry, still a few years away from the early 2010s and everyoneâ€™s wierd folk rock phase. Also, this guy recorded some of the fantastic soundtrack for Q: Into the Storm, an HBO documentary about Q-anon. I love the Patti Smith-esk guitar, and if youâ€™re in the mood for more songs where somebody pulls on the EM string like a dentist trying to extract a tooth, then Iâ€™d recommend Pattiâ€™s cover of â€śSmells like Teen Spirit.â€ť
Pressed 2 Death, Illuminati Hotties. â€śPressed 2 Deathâ€ť is like Daddy issues meets Band On The Run. Usually, if Iâ€™m comparing anything to Wings, I mean it as a terrible insult, but this song kind of grew on me. The song is pretty short, almost feeling more like a proof of concept. Or something that they came up with when they only had about five minutes of studio time left after spending the day melting adderal pills in an Easy-Bake Oven and huffing the fumes.
Miles Erickson is a recent graduate of CalArts, published author, and currently enrolled in a prestigious, four-year, student loan repayment program. Long Distance Listening Partyâ€™s vague intention is to discuss topics framed in the context of what Iâ€™m currently listening to.